first kiss

i don’t know where to start. I don’t know how to tell you about her. there’s something going on between us, right now. let me share a post that i wrote about her last year that i never published.


we met online a number of years ago when my marriage was falling apart. of course, i didn’t know it at the time. i know that i was searching for something, and that’s what got me writing a blog in the first place.

i didn’t write erotica back then, not anything remotely poetic. that all evolved over time and by accident. i wrote stupid, ill informed political and social commentary – it was all bullshit and very few people read my blog, let alone take the time to comment.

i think it was a post with some kind of smart ass anti American, anti consumerism bent – and she commented on it. i guess our common semi/pseudo intellects helped us connect in some kind of weird “you’re just like me” kind of way.

we’re not exactly alike of course, not in that many ways. she enjoys all the trappings of a family life in a rural community, and i’m the opposite. i’m a city guy who left his kids behind with their mother in the suburbs.

what we are, however, is an impossible romance. i can’t explain the magic that happens between us. we are each other’s number one fan. there’s that knowingness that if we were to ever meet, we’d hang out like long lost friends, and drink and dance the night away.

and fuck. oh would we fuck. we’d fuck like two people have never fucked before.

again, like all impossible romances, i can’t explain the sexual chemistry between us.

she is shy, but she wants to be bold. she is cautious, but she wants me to dominate her. she knows how to tease me, and i know how to take advantage of her.

and of course, like all impossible romances, i can’t imagine how we could possibly ever be together. no matter how hard i try or how much i wish, the reality is that we can never be together.

like i said, I wrote that post last year but i never published it. today, i received this email.

Noah,
I’m coming to visit you. I need to see you. I’ve left Jason and I’ve left the kids with my parents for two weeks. I’m not kidding! omg, I can hardly believe it! I need your first kiss. I want it. I want you.
love,
Amy

8 thoughts on “first kiss

  1. I’ve been in this space. And it IS absolutely wonderful… so bittersweet. I hope it isn’t fiction, but I suppose we’ll never know 🙂

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