I call upon my blog followers here today to witness that I, diirrty, take you, internet girlfriend, to be my sinfully bedded fuck-buddy.
In doing so, I affirm my lust for you, and invite you to share your body with me forever.
I promise to always go down on you, and never to come too soon.
I promise to sneak away on dirty weekends with you, especially when the wife is sick and stuck at home with the kids.
I promise to never tell you that I love you, and I promise never to get you pregnant.
As your fuck buddy, I promise to honour these commitments for as long as I can keep getting it up, or until you get a strange rash.
Now, by the power vested in Skype, you may masturbate!