my nice penis

my penis is very nice. my penis will ask you about your day. my penis will wash the dishes and fold the washing. my penis will listen to anything you have to say. my penis will kill bugs, defend your honor, and put out the trash. my penis will be nice to your mother, and your best friend. come to think of it, my penis will be very nice to your mother if she’s hot, and will fuck your best friend behind your back when she’s drunk. if she’s not up for it, my penis will slip a rufie in her champagne, drag her into the alley and fuck her in the ass.

seven nation fuck

flirt, flirt flirt flirt flirt flirt
tease
flirt, flirt flirt flirt flirt flirt
tease

squeeze, tease tease touch touch touch
kiss
squeeze, tease tease touch touch touch
kiss

suck, suck suck suck suck suck
lick
suck, suck suck suck suck suck
lick

grab, lick bite lick bite lick
slap
grab, lick bite lick bite lick
slap

cunt, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
cock
cunt, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
cock

slap, bite fuck bite lick slap
moan
slap, bite fuck bite lick slap
moan

shake, moan moan shake shake shake
come
shake, moan moan shake shake shake
come

her fantasy, part one

As my cock slid inside you for the first time, all of my nervousness fell away. You told me he wanted this, just as much as you did, but the look on his face when I was finally inside you, told me more than any words could.

As you started to push your hips back against my thrusts, he shifted in his chair and unbuttoned his jeans. You told me he might join in, or he might just sit and masturbate. I was about to find out it was the latter.

How we got to this point in our relationship was complicated. Our friendship was complicated. How we ended up in this bed however, on this night, with him in the room, was not complicated at all. It came about when I asked you about a dirty fantasy. I asked you, “tell me about a fantasy you have that is so dirty, that you don’t think you could ever go through with it.” You replied quickly, and simply.

“Fuck me with my husband.”

a dedication

she told me,
to kneel over her face, so she could suck the tip of my cock
until i was close to the edge

(and she did, i was close)

she told me,
to pull back, so she could stroke me and have me
come on her fingers

(and i did, as she wished)

she told me,
that she wanted to rub my come over into her cunt
to make herself come that way.

(and she did, oh, she sure did)

it was one of the most erotic mind games i’ve ever played.
she loved the word cunt, and i loved her,
for a thousand reasons in a thousand ways.
hello, this is your dedication.

matchmaker

a single girl i know is looking for help to find a man. she’s a real catch. she’s middle aged, unattractive, overweight and vegan. she’s opinionated and thinks she’s smarter than you. she also smells funny and has a weird, non-sexy accent.

if anyone out there might be interested in dating her, drop me a line.

oh, and one last thing. i heard that she can suck a tennis ball through a garden hose.